How Do They Live With Their Lies? Easy...
By Jef Nance

Okay, so what have I FAILED to point out? 

Quite simply, it's the power of rationalization. 

When it comes to a person's truthfulness—or lack of it, really — rationalization is almost always at work when they're trying to cover up what they don't want you to know. 

Have you ever stopped to think about this, that some things don't come naturally to us?  Like riding a unicycle, understanding a foreign language, or say… jumping out of a perfectly good airplane?  Of course with some practice, some study (or faith in our parachute!) we might learn to get out of our comfort zone and master something new, something rare, even develop a talent we didn't even know we had.  So there's always possibility, right?

And then there are those things that DO come naturally to people, so in fact so natural we don't even have to think about them, much less learn them:  Like breathing, scratching an itch, or… rationalizing what we do. 

You know what else?  Sorry for the bad news, but deception happens to be another one of those things that come pretty natural to people, it's not a talent that has to be learned (although some people DO happen to be better at it than others).  And deception's got its upsides:  It's easier than unicycling, and unlike a bad parachute, at least it doesn't usually kill the person who uses it.  In fact, people often USE deception sort of like a parachute; they see it as a rescue device, handy anytime they need to bail out of a bad situation. 

How do people live with their deception?  Well, they combine these natural traits of rationalization and deception.  They subconsciously figure out ways to reassure themselves their behavior makes sense, that it's justified.  This allows them to:

1 - do what they want

2 - be deceptive when talking about it

3 - feel no guilt 

What? 

No guilt? 

Scary but true:  Contrary to what might be popular belief, people feel virtually no guilt when they lie—why would they?  They've justified their deceit, given themselves permission to do whatever it takes to "protect" themselves from the discomfort the truth would bring them.  So their concern is NOT on the morality of the deceit, but on its success.

So here's an interesting little secret that few know:  When you see nervousness demonstrated by a deceptive person it's NOT due to feelings of guilt—it's due to their fear of being caught. 

So rationalization is a big part of what moves a person down the path of deception, and it actually works on three levels, usually spread out over a bit of time as things unfold:

1 - They rationalize the action:  People generally find ways to do what they want to do, right?  And they justify their actions by making what they WANT to do seem acceptable, even if only in their own mind.

If there's something we really want to buy, for instance, we usually find a way to rationalize it so that we get what we want.  We buy what we want, then we back the decision up with logic.  Example:  We want a new car (emotion), and so we rationalize the purchase by telling ourselves that we'll save on maintenance (logic), or get better gas mileage (logic), or the new car will have more room (logic).  One emotional urge, backed up by numerous "logical" reasons, all designed to make the action seem understandable, allowable, even necessary.  Ultimately, we're just rationalizing why it's reasonable to do… what we want to do.

Along the same lines, when a person wants to do something they shouldn't, or that wouldn't be acceptable to others, they subconsciously rationalize why it'll be okay.  People don't always make good decisions in the moment when no one's looking, or when they think no one will find out—and those two factors end up leading them to go ahead and do… what they want to do! 

Let me ask you (hey, no one'll know, so you can be honest):  Have you ever done something that seemed enticing or fun in the moment, knowing that it wouldn't be viewed so well if it others found out? 

Haven't we all. 

2 - They rationalize the deception:  So then comes the moment of facing up to their actions.  Maybe somebody accidentally touches on the "touchy" subject.  Maybe somebody asks about it directly.  Either way, there's a decision to be made:  Tell the truth, or use deception to sidestep it. 

When they choose to avoid the truth, people a lot of times rationalize their dishonesty.  They may tell themselves the truth is no one else's business.  Or that that the truth can't be proven, and it'll be simpler not to address it.  Or that the truth would hurt the other person.  Whatever "logic" they use internally, it amounts to justifying what they really want to do, what's best for them:  Avoid the pain (to themselves) of telling the truth.

3 - They rationalize to the deceived… why it wasn't really deception:  So when their "secret" actions are uncovered and the truth becomes known, a deceptive person will often use rationalization again—this time to minimize their dishonesty or even re-frame it as a misunderstanding.  (Exactly why I teach how you can use minimizing to GET the truth out of others—it's one of the most powerful techniques you can know).

By the time Bill Clinton made this statement, it was apparent to everybody that he hadn't been truthful in his grand jury testimony on the Lewinsky deal. 

Here's the meaning he hoped listeners would take from this statement:  "I intended to be truthful at the time, but later realized I fell short".  The statement's underlying purpose is to rationalize—explain away—his dishonesty, and make it sound less ominous. 

But here's the REAL meaning of the statement, the one Clinton didn't even realize he was conveying:  "I tried to be deceptive without anybody picking up on it, and it didn't work." 

His statement really just serves as more evidence that people—from the President right down to the those you converse with every day—ALWAYS convey more than they realize.  It's up to us to be savvy enough to recognize those subtle messages.

Just like Richard Nixon, the one thing Bill Clinton would never be heard saying is, "I lied."  And you know what?  When it comes to being caught at dishonesty, the average guy isn't any different from Richard Nixon or Bill Clinton—that's why you've never heard ANYONE say, "I lied". 

And why's that?  Well, even when they're nailed, people tend to use words again as a "parachute"—virtually no one ever admits lying, instead they get very clever with their words yet AGAIN, this time to squirm out of their false remarks.

In fact, they'll use every trick in the book to escape guilt, maybe even put the blame on YOU if they can.  Go back to the top of the page and check out Nixon's statement again and you'll see that he actually faults the listener… for HIS deceit.  He doesn't admit he was dishonest, just that it "seemed" that way to others.

On a side note, here's another powerful thing to understand, and it's so simple that most everybody overlooks it:  Not only do we usually get what we want, we often get what we DON'T want. 

And those negative outcomes land on our doorsteps because we also usually get what we EXPECT.  Be careful:  When you expect the worst, you stand much better odds of getting it!  This is a whole ‘nother subject that I'll save for later, but for now I'll just give you this:  Master your expectations, and you'll go a long way toward mastering the results you get in life. 

Anyway, if you want to have a FREE copy of my audio, "How to Tell a Lie and Get Away with it EVERY Time!" go back to the top of the page and put in your first name and email address. 

That'll also give you full access to more FREE tips and updates as they come along, and of course you can opt out at any time, there's no catch.  And if you just want to find out more about The INSIDER'S REPORT on LYING, go check it out at www.deceptionreport.com/main.php 

If you have any questions or feedback, you can always email me at cdauthor@hotmail.com   Thanks for your curiosity—enjoy!

-Jef